LOCKDOWN DAY 5

Day 5...Tuesday 31 March 2020

So I had online fight with strangers tonight.  On a fb group someone posted that astrology dictates no buying of food items on 1st april...and I asked what what will happen to those that dont believe in this ...what nonsense is this... and I got blasted by ignorant women who failed to realize that I'm a hindu too... but I dont have blind faith . I question that which doesn't make sense to me... I dont follow like sheep.  Every religion has something special in it.... I take that which resonates with my soul and discard that which doesn't make sense or which disregards others who are not of the same faith....  I dont care that they tackled me. I'm a bit displeased with myself because what I did in a sm way also was take out my frustration about this madness called coronavirus on the net... I feel I was directing my anger in the wrong place... anyway this is life now.  I need to work harder on staying calm. I'm starting to get depressed and agitated. 

Got very stressed with the 2nd presidential address last night. By the part when he said mobile units will come to your house to test for the virus.  Already theres been a rape and murder of a 75 yr old woman by criminals pretending to be government officials.  I got very afraid.  I had a stress and anxiety attack...sugar dropped to 2.6 again although I monitored it well before sleeping... this time I felt literally sick too.... shaky, nauseous and just horrible. Tonight I'm taking more caution.  Will set an alarm for early morning to check my sugar.  

All the different theories about the coronavirus is upsetting too. The death news. The fake news. I'm getting agitated.  Not watching live news anymore.  Stopped reading the paper long ago. Need to take a long break from social media. Going to try harder tomorrow. Set an early alarm to exercise tomorrow.  All this anxiety needs an outlet.  Will try some yoga to help me relax also. 

I feel things will get more hectic in the days to come. We are making history.  We are living through a pandemic. We are witnessing a huge crisis which will never be forgotten,  which will go down in the textbooks. I'm not at ease. I need to breathe.

Thanks for  reading.

Be safe be indoors 

Peace and love

Lady S ❣

LOCKDOWN DAY 3

Day 3..Sunday 29 March 2020

My sleep broke at 5.40 am.  I had a dream about The DIVINE MOTHER... it felt good. In the dream I in a marble temple,  bowing down to the Goddess.  I pray the Mata Rani blesses everyone and all life forms on our planet and frees us all from the Coronavirus quickly. I did a meditation.  Send healing light to the planet. Felt good.

Woke also to the new numbers.. ..1280 infections.. 2 deaths ... alarming.  There's video circulating about people in the townships not practicing social distancing....its alarming. They simply refuse to stay indoors.  The police and army are unable to control them. It's very scary. 

I got some messages to light a candle of hope at 7pm for an hour. I did that. Let's pray for the best.

Cook. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. 

This virus is making us switch off. Think deeply. Stop hurting the planet.  Feel compassion for the less fortunate.  Want to be kind and more courteous.  

Stay safe wherever you are.

Peace and Love and Blessings 

LADY S

LOCKDOWN DAY 2

Day 2 of the lockdown. ... feel lost. Like it's been weeks. I didn't remember what day it was...after some thought I realized it was Saturday... confused and worried... my daughter called... she's so smart and brave... mature way beyond her mere 35 years....she told me not to be anxious as she herself is prone to anxiety and understands how it can overwhelm you.  She told me to stay calm, and to accept what happens with the virus....that if anything untoward happens to us, then that was our life's journey... that was how it's supposed to be.... we cannot change the past or the future but we can accept and stay safe, do our bit in the present. I felt much much better and calmer after talking to her.  She told me to keep my mind positive and stop looking at negative feeds on the tv and Internet.

Routine was the same.  Number of infections are in the 1000s today... 1 death . Cook. Clean. I baked scones. Need to keep busy but it will make us fat also as exercise is limited. 

I need adult interaction.  I'm confined to virtual interactions only. It's lonely.  

Thanks for reading please stay home stay safe

Peace and love and healing 

LADY S ❣

LOCKDOWN DAY 1 IN DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA

Day 1 .  Started at 2am for me with yet another sugar low of 2.8.  Again scrambled for sweet sugary stuff to eat and drink. Went to bed an hour later energy drained and exhausted.  Felt eerie at 7.30am. Fridays attract beggars going through our bin bags for scraps. Today there wasn't a soul about. Just 1 municipal worker in mask and gloves gathering up the bin bags in readiness for  collection.  The bin truck came on time. No delays.  It was quiet except for a car hooting loudly , picking up kids neaby,  interacting with the people who live there, spreading the disease.  Reports of stupid people gathering wafted in the newsfeeds throughout out the day. Videos of arrests. Drunk people revelling at 2am in Johannesburg.  We stayed put. 

Had to clean the house as the maid is unable to work now.  The dust causes havoc to my breathing system.  News of Dadi Janaaki dying..of the famous BK cult in India. So many spiritual questions unanswered. The mind boggles. Videos of conspiracy theories.  Fear. Worry. One has to be steadfast and ground oneself quick so not to get caught up in these so called warfare. Some say bio chemical weapons.  Released deliberately.  Who knows the truth... then fake news. Of deaths not yet happened.  Why do people deliberately cause panic?  Why give others anxiety unnecessarily...

No cooking today. We ate leftovers. Cannot waste food now. Anything still remaining was packed and frozen . To be thawed out another day. 

When will this nightmare end? Onward to day 2. Stay indoors stay safe wherever in the world you are. Thank you for reading. 

Peace and love 

LADY S ❣

. ONE HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES BEFORE THE LOCKDOWN

So it's an hour and 15 minutes before lockdown in South Africa begins.  The total number of cases is 927 today, 26 March 2020. The number is growing at a frightening rate.  

I started the day with a sugar low of 2,6 at 2am.  Scrambled around until I found coke and chocolates in the fridge.  Also ate 2 biscuits. Sugar rose to 5.6. Then I went back to bed. Around 3.15 am. I woke up at 6.45am. Did 30 minutes of cardio. Then breakfast of pronutro cereal. I made a cup of tea and left it to brew in the kitchen. Completely forgot about it. Down the drain 45mins later as it tasted like crap. 

Next I washed 2 toilets,  2 bathrooms. Showered. Ate leftover biryani for lunch. The food didn't go down. Depression over this being the first time ever that I cooked biryani and my other kids could not come over to eat it due to self isolation.  I slept. Dreamt. Woken up rudely by the ring of a watsapp call. Brush teeth. Coffee. Spoke to my youngest son.

It's my son in law's 35th birthday.  We celebrated via videocall. It was great to see everyone.  We last saw ea other 10 days ago.  I cried inside as I looked at my daughter,  her husband,  my son, his wife and my son in law's parents and sister. These are the people I love and who knows when I will see them again. I cannot make sense of this virus. The kids are playing online games together.  I can hear my son who lives with me, laughing and enjoying it.  At least my kids are together via the internet.  I am grateful for these small pleasures.  

Milk was sold out at both the stores near me. I have a few litres so it's ok. We bought 2 loaves of bread to avoid going to the shop again too often. Dinner was chicken Viennas...hot dogs.  Will have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.  

Called my sister to see hw she is . My nephew to check how his family is.  Need to relax my mind. Too much of overthinking.  Oh and I cleaned out my wendy hut today.  My sacred space unused for sometime.  Intend to using for my alone time now..

PLEASE STAY INDOORS DURING THE LOCKDOWN AND AFTER.  

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Thank you for reading. 

Peace and love

LADY S ❣

CORONAVIRUS AND ANXIETY

It's bad enough having a chronic anxiety problem...then along comes THE CORONAVIRUS  to add to your woes. I cannot see my therapist,  she was relocating to New Zealand in April but I think those plans are on hold now.  Her replacement was kind enough to email me  to reassure me that she's still available via Skype. It's good to know that I can contact her if the anxiety overwhelms me. I already had a bout or 2 of palpitations since the coronavirus hit South Africa.  WE had 709 cases this morning...  I'm having sleepless nights or very little sleep most nights. My daytime naps are short and I'm jarred awake by the slightest sound or movement or by bad dreams.  So I am exhausted the next day. My morning runs are cancelled.  This makes me edgy and both restless and anxious. They usually calm and destress me.  

Then there's my concern for my children's welfare in this trying time. I pray daily that they are always healthy . I cry for the world.  For Italy and China and Spain and South Africa and for every human being , for my maid and gardener , every life form, for the dead and the sick and the doctors and nurses. I fear for my dog. My mouth is dry as  I type this. There's a fear within my soul which I must purge. I must accept what's happening.  Or this anxiety will override me, imagine lying in bed with palpitations for 2 or more days, non stop.  I must be well so I can care for my family,  my son who still lives with me. 

In 24 hrs time South Africa will start their 21 day lockdown.  I pray this helps us to flatten the curve here. The thought of what will happen in the days to come is so frightening.  But faith and prayer will get us through this. 

We stocked up on food and essentials.  No stockpiling as the food stores and pharmacies will remain open. I will cook daily since the food places are closed.  No deliveries allowed. I will clean daily as  my maid will not come to work due to the lockdown and I will tend to my garden as my gardener will also not be able to come to work. 

This will be the scenario  in every household now. But still some idiotic people are visiting family, having get togethers at their homes,  going to church meetings, spreading the disease. Human beings acting like retards. 

Thank you for reading.  Writing helps my anxiety calm down. 

I wish you and your loved ones peace and love and safety from the coronavirus..

Stay blessed

LADY S 🙏❣